I will write.
Today is September 11, 2015—the 14th anniversary of the terror attacks on our country. It makes me sick to think of all those who lost their lives at the hands of criminals.
Their religion tells them to kill their enemies. Mine tells me to turn the other cheek to them by living out each of my days with intentional purpose.
I don’t always live with intentional purpose well. I live with significant pain, which can keep me awake at night—and that often makes me too tired to want to get started in the morning. All I want to do is absorb information or sleep. But today, in an instant, I remembered that nearly 3,000 people were struggling with something that likely deferred their dreams. They hoped to get to that dream tomorrow—but for them, tomorrow never came.
We don’t know what God has planned. Tomorrow may never come for us either. We have to live like today may be all we have left.
So I will write. I will write the words God places in my heart. I will not leave out His words because they may offend someone.
I have been defeated not by these external enemies of our country but by inner fear demons who convince me that I don’t have anything worthy to say. I have capitulated because I have been too scared to let my voice be heard. I have not tried to counter with the truth. I have shriveled in the face of opposition because I want people to love me. I want to be hired. I want to lead a quiet life.
But the reality is, not all of the Words God gives us are for the enjoyment and pacifying of others. Sometimes, the Words God gives us are a wake up call. Waking up His people to share His truth. Waking up His people to speak now because spreading His message is only getting harder.
We have to make our voices heard—for those whose voices were prematurely silenced by the evil in the hearts of others. If they were alive today, they would tell us to live our lives on purpose, because life is short. We need more people to know the truth of God’s love. It is only His love that transforms the heart of sin into one that loves others well.
The longer we wait, the more difficult it will be to get our message out. The marketplace only becomes more crowded. We will have to push through more barriers to be heard.
Today I also remember the birthdays of two people dear to me: my grandmother who taught me how to pray, and a high school friend who fought a valiant fight with cancer, but died as a young woman. I am and will always be grateful to my grandma and the closeness to God that prayer has created in my life. I know God is giving me courage because of it. However, my natural tendency is to keep to myself, much like my grandma did.
I am asking God to help me also become like my friend. She was very influential because of her caring, magnetic, fun-loving personality. Although I am not sure that humor like hers is a gift of mine, I do want others to notice my care for them. My friend was also excelled in everything she did. She was the captain of the sports teams and homecoming queen. She had an amazing work ethic, pushing herself harder when she faced difficulties.
She encouraged me when she was losing her battle with cancer because she was still upbeat and others focused. She did not seem to retreat or shy away from others. She made the most of her time. And when her time was up, she was ready to begin the heavenly party without regrets because she lived life to the fullest.
When my time is up—even at the end of each day—I want to be able to say that I lived each day to the fullest. I did push myself too hard for my corporate employers for nearly 20 years that when I finally began working for myself, I perhaps swung too much the other direction. I am asking God to help me swing my discipline pendulum back to the middle a bit.
I will find this balance so that I fulfill my calling of writing and sharing my message—in whatever form that takes.
So I will write to live more fully.
So I will write to love.
I will write to express God’s heart to His children.
I will write trusting in His overflow, and figure out how to get out whatever words He wants me to distribute.
I will honor the legacy of those who didn’t have the opportunity to move forward with their dreams.
I will stay centered in Christ and ask Him to conform my desires to His so that my most daring dreams also serve His purposes, and I am not really sure where He will lead me. But I am going to spend every day biting off a large chunk of the list. I am going to get done what God tells me to do—even if that is resting when I am in severe pain to lessen it so that I can have more productive concentrated times of productivity each day to get His words clearly on paper.
Will you join me?
